By Ifeoma Nwekwo
“Excuse me, Pastor, I’m struggling with lust.”
That’s not a statement you hear often. However, if we consider Google’s auto-complete function as a reflection of what people actively search for (which it is), we can safely say that many Christians need help in this area.
What is lust?
Lust is a word that Christians often associate with sexual sin, and rightfully so. Although lust is defined as a strong desire or craving (James 4:2 KJV), this desire or craving is typically negative. That’s why the Apostle Peter admonished believers in 1 Peter 2:11-12 (NKJV) by saying:
“Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation.”
Similar scriptures such as 1 John 2:16, Matthew 5:27-28, and Job 31:11-12 also convey a negative undertone when referring to lust. In these verses, lust refers to an intense, self-centered desire or craving for a person, experience, or object. The Bible calls it the root of all sins (1 John 2:16, James 1:14) and commands believers to shun it because “we that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts” (Galatians 5:24).
Why is lust wrong?
Firstly, lust is wrong because God commands us to love Him with all of our being (Matthew 22:37). Therefore, anything we lust after becomes an idol that takes God’s place in our hearts. Secondly, as stated in 1 Peter 2:11-12, yielding to fleshly lusts is a slippery slope that leads to ungodly conduct. It begins as a sin conceived in our hearts.
Then it manifests itself in our actions which further dishonor our heavenly Father.
“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28 NLT).
Regrettably, popular culture widely promotes and glorifies lust, especially sexual lust. It saturates various forms of media, including movies, billboards, magazines, the internet, novels, comics, video games, and even cartoons, with explicit sexual content. The underlying message they convey, whether subtly or overtly, is this: to achieve happiness, one must engage in sexual activities without restraint or limitations.
However, we know these are lies because God’s Word teaches us otherwise. Lust goes against God’s original intentions for sex, enticing us to focus on our desires and feelings while disregarding God’s broader purpose. Moreover, lust is insatiable (Ephesians 4:19 NIV).
What lust truly seeks is not sex, but the thrill of the forbidden (James 1:13-15; Romans 1:24-32). Hence, when we give in to lust, our desires intensify and drag us further into sexual sin and perversion.
It starts with a friend sending you some online nudes. Next thing you know, you’re watching porn and becoming addicted to masturbation. Or, you begin reading light romance novels, which leads you to fantasize about having sex with the main character. Then one day, you realize you’re seeking out dirtier and dirtier movies and novels to satisfy your cravings.
As I mentioned, lust is a slippery slope that leads us down a painful path.
How do you overcome lust when you are single (or married)?
Thankfully, we have victory in Christ Jesus! As believers who now have the Holy Spirit living in us, God is the one working in us, giving us the desire and the power to do what pleases him (Philippians 2:13 NLT).
If you’re struggling with lust, here are three tips to help you emerge victorious:
- Study and confess God’s Word: “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh [which gratify the body], but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit [His will and purpose]” (Romans 8:5 AMP).
Think back to when you were preparing for an exam. You set aside time to study and made every effort to remember what you were reading. If taking notes helped you retain information, you did it. If muttering the material to yourself helped you remember, you did that too.
This level of attention is what you need to give to the Word of God. When your mind is full of God’s word (i.e. renewed), your born-again spirit will work together with your mind, thus making it easier for you to exercise self-control. As Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
- Guard your heart by guarding your eyes and ears: What you expose yourself to, whether through what you see or hear, affects how you think. Your thoughts then shape your beliefs, and your beliefs impact your behavior. This is why when we expose ourselves to sexually explicit content, it builds up our sexual desires to a point where it can be difficult not to act on them.
It’s unrealistic to believe you can continue watching TV shows, and movies, or listening to songs filled with sexually explicit images or words without experiencing temptation. Romans 8:5 already made it clear that if you fix your mind on worldly desires, you’ll be influenced by them.
Therefore, to avoid falling into sexual sin, it’s best to steer clear of movies, music, novels, magazines, and other media that fuel your lustful desires or promote sexual immorality. The less you expose your mind to lustful images, the lower your temptation will be to engage in sexual sin.
- Set standards and boundaries in your romantic relationship: This isn’t about being legalistic. These boundaries are simple safeguards that make it easier for you to honor God and serve as an example to all believers in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity (1 Timothy 4:12).
Physical involvement within a relationship is a gradual process; one action leads to another until it reaches the point of full intimacy. That’s why any efforts you both make to exercise caution in expressing physical affection will benefit both of you.
If you eventually get married, you can enjoy each other’s bodies as much as you agree to. However, if your relationship doesn’t work out, you’d have done each other a favor by honoring your bodies.
God loves you.
He didn’t give you sexual desires to punish you. He gave them to you so you could enjoy His gift of sex at the right time. So, although you may be tempted to indulge those desires outside of His will, His desire is that you trust and obey Him.
Remember, he is the one working in you both to will and to do the things that please him (Philippians 2:13)
If you found these tips helpful, I’m certain you’d love my FREE eBook: ‘SINGLE, CHRISTIAN AND HORNY: 13 Proven Ways to Manage Your God-given Desire for Sex without Feeling Guilty.” Get it here https://bit.ly/SingleChristianAndHorny
Talk soon,
Ify.
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Author Bio:
Ifeoma Nwekwo is a Ghostwriter and self-publishing coach who helps experts write and self-publish non-fiction books that multiply their visibility and impact.
She’s also the author of the critically acclaimed book “Can I be Married Already?!: Biblical answers to the questions that plague your heart because you’re still single” available on Amazon.
Connect with her on Instagram @ifeoma_nwekwo
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THE WRITTEN FAITH 
So applicable and focused! Thank you.
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Focus on God’s word is the key. I have found it to be very helpful, after cutting down the amount of exposure to unworthy songs and content. My mind is constantly being renewed and it’s a continuous effort. Thank you for this piece.
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