Sunday, 14TH February 2016

Today was a great day. I always look forward to Sundays in COZA. Today is Valentine’s Day, as well as COZA’s 17th year anniversary. I knew it was gonna be a wonderful time in God’s presence. I hadn’t spoken to Moyin since I sent her that text message. She hadn’t replied nor called since Friday. I just made up my mind not to do anything till I see her. I made sure I was very busy throughout the weekend. I even went to the office and signed some documents… all in a bid not to think about Moyin.

I saw her at her usual position this morning. She smiled sweetly when she saw me and the fire in my heart began to blaze. I smiled back coolly and walked into church. The service was amazing and pastor preached on Love. A lot of times my mind drifted to Moyin, whenever he gave an example of relationships. It was announced that there would be an evening service and I was excited. It was a service for the celebration of COZA at 17.

After that morning service I looked for Moyin and found her sitting in a corner of the church with her friend… the one I frequently see with her. I was really scared of rejection, but for all it was worth, I walked up to her. She smiled at me and introduced her friend, Joyce, to me … who excused herself almost immediately. Moyin and I had a comfortable conversation about how good our weekend was, till she had to go for appraisal. I asked her how she planned to spend her valentine’s day and she stated that she had no plans, so I asked that we hung out together. She had to think about it, considering the fact that we had the church service in the evening. I assured her that it would be quick and it would be at a location close to the church.

She agreed and hurriedly went for her appraisal, promising to call me for more planning as soon as she was done with the activities in church.

I went home and asked God to help me with this whole situation. I wasn’t sure if Moyin felt the same way I feel, but I was going to ascertain that today. I prayed for a while and decided to just let God take care of the rest.

Moyin called me up about an hour after I got home. She told me that we could meet up by 4pm, anywhere close to the church, so that she could get back to church early. I suggested a decent eatery at Asokoro, which is just a few minutes away from church.

At 3:50pm I was at the eatery waiting. To my surprise, Moyin arrived exactly at 4pm. She was dressed in a blue shimmery dress. I could tell it was her uniform for ushering this evening.  There was an awkward moment as we sat and placed our orders. I decided to man up and speak. I brought up the text message I had sent earlier, stating that I had meant everything I wrote and I just wanted to know how she felt about that. She just stared intently at me then sighed.

It took her a while to speak up and when she did, she responded that, she also felt something for me beyond our friendship but, some “issues arising” was making her confused.

When I asked her about the issues, she didn’t respond. She just asked ‘what next?’

Honestly, I hadn’t thought of what next. I was so eager to tell her how I felt and see her reaction that I had forgotten that telling her wasn’t just enough. Well without thinking twice, I submitted to what I heard in my spirit and asked her to be in a relationship with me as a starting point, and let us see where it would go from there.

She seemed surprised… for some reason. It took her a while but she asked me to give her a week to think about it and get back to me.

I agreed to that, as I didn’t want to pressure her. For some odd reason the atmosphere became more comfortable. We ate and chatted till it was 5:30pm, then headed for church.

Church was amazing. I had the most fun time in God’s presence. We had special guests’, music ministrations and comedy. Pastor Biodun Spoke on Thanksgiving and speaking the same thing God says. I learnt a new Greek word “Homologeo”………  My pastor is almost turning us to greeks…lol

In all today was quite a great day. I danced and gave thanks to God for my church and my life. I didn’t see Moyin after service. I went home and prayed about the whole “Moyin thing” I told God that I will pray about it daily till I got a response.

Good night Diary.



Sunday, 14th February 2016

Dear diary,

Today was a great day. It was Valentine’s day/COZA’s 17th anniversary celebration. I went to church still feeling a little guilty about the events of last night. I saw Ken pass my duty post and my heart still ‘Skipped a beat’ as I smiled at him. He just smiled back like nothing had happened. I wondered if I should have replied his text.

I could barely pay attention in church as my mind kept whirling like a tornado with various thoughts clouding it. I knew I liked Ken, but Ade had come to confuse me. I wondered what I felt toward him. It was as though there was a force drawing me towards him. I was just out right confused.

After service, I pulled Joyce aside and began to narrate the events of last night to her. I had barely finished telling her how I had almost kissed Ade when Ken walked up to us. I could feel butterflies just at the sight of him. I introduced him to Joyce, who excused herself almost immediately (that girl!!!). Ken asked for another date today. I wanted to say yes, but I didn’t want it to clash with my service at the program this evening. He assured me it would be quick and the location will be close to church. I agreed and went for my appraisal. After appraisal, I told Joyce the all that happened last night. She told me that I should drop the guilt because it was a distraction from the devil and that I should thank God that I stopped when I did. She also advised that I take out time to seek God, even in a fast and ask him for direction per time.

I took her advice. I prayed to God for direction on what to do. I felt at peace with calling ken and setting up a time, close to the time for service so that I could go to church from there. He chose another expensive restaurant. I didn’t complain because it was quite close to church. I went home and prayed again and asked God to order my steps.

I made sure I arrived right on time at the restaurant. It was quiet for the first five minutes, then Ken began to speak. He reiterated what he wrote in the text message, assuring me that he meant every word of it and asking me how I felt. I could feel the butterflies as he spoke. Then the picture of Ade crossed my mind. I mentally asked God to give me the wisdom to speak the right words.

I told him that I had feelings for him, but some ‘issues arising’ had me confused. Before he had the chance to ask me about the issues, I quickly asked ‘what next?’. I heard it from my spirit to ask what the next step was. It seemed to me like the question caught him off guard as he seemed unsure all of a sudden. In less than minute he spoke up and asked me to be in a relationship with him. I was quite amazed at his quick response and use of words. Most guys usually ask me to be their girlfriend or to ‘date’ them or start ‘going out’ with them. I was tempted to say yes right away, but the thought of Ade arose, I just mentally asked the Holy spirit for wisdom and I felt like I heard ‘seven days’ in my spirit …..I told Ken to give me a week to think about it. To my utmost surprise, he didn’t pressure me at all. He just nodded and changed the conversation. We had a lovely time eating and talking about random things, before leaving for church.

Service was super-amazing. I had the best time in God’s presence. I was totally focused and I gained a lot from the message. Hopefully I will start acting on what I heard immediately.

As soon as I got home I switched on my phone (cause I usually switch it off when I’m in church.) I got a text from Ade.

“Hello dear, I hope you had a great Sunday. I really did not get over you all these years. I still love you and I feel we should get back together. I know you feel the same way. Please reply”

That was exactly the text he sent. I could feel my heart beat faster. I didn’t reply. I just went on my knees and prayed for God to guide me through this.

Mummy called late this evening and told me that the Holy Spirit had led her to call me. I was quick to narrate everything about the men and how confused I felt. She was quiet for a while….. She just told me not to be in a hurry to make any decision. According to her, if she were to make the choice for me, she would pick Ade. She told me that she was being sentimental, because Ade is Yoruba and she has known him for quite a while. She however couldn’t vouch for how strong he was in Christ. She told me to listen for the voice of the God without sentiments and not make any biased decisions based on feelings, emotions and flesh. She assured me that she would keep praying for me and will keep telling me anything that God drops in her spirit. I thanked her, and thanked God for such a wonderful mother.

Good night Diary.

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