Wednesday, 3rd, February 2016
It’s quite strange that I haven’t received any call or text from Ken since Monday. I didn’t even see him in church yesterday. I am beginning to wonder if something happened to him…. I know deep down that he is fine. I have been tempted to call him over 10 times but have strongly resisted the urge….. Reason is that, the Bible says ‘Whosoever finds a wife….. ‘ not the other way around. I am the lady… I can’t be seeking a husband.
Maybe he feels that I am too holy for him. Or I am not as fun as the other girls he has dated…. Well good riddance…
Good night diary.
Friday 5th, February 2016
I have come to a conclusion that I was just imagining that Ken liked me. Apparently, he just saw me as a friend and I allowed myself to dream. I guess it’s because I’m so eager to get married. He has still not called or texted. But even as a friend… He should have at least sent a text message or called once to check up on me.
I could hardly concentrate on anything throughout the week. I just kept on wondering if there was anything wrong with me.
Am I too spiritual?
Am I boring?
Why haven’t I dated any guy since I truly gave my life to Christ?
Why is it that the guys that ask me out don’t meet up to my standards?
Why is it that the Guys that meet up to my standards are either taken or don’t seem to have interest in me?
I have been asking God all these questions in prayer for a while. I thought I had gotten what I wanted with Ken but apparently, I was just imagining things. He obviously has no serious interest in me.
I think I will just go out with friends tomorrow and get my mind off relationship issues.
Good night diary.
Sunday 7th February 2016
Today was awesome. As usual service was off the hook and Pst. Biodun was on point.
After having a great time with my friends at d cinema and hanging out at cold stone creamery, I went home and made some serious decisions. I decided that I will not stress myself over relationship plans… At this point… I am leaving it to God. I will not assume that any man likes me till he looks me in the eye and tells me so. I made a lot of other serious decisions and penned them down behind this diary.
I saw Ken in church today. Though my heart ‘skipped a beat’ at the sight of his handsome face, I managed to remain composed. I greeted him the normal way I greeted every other person that passed through the door. He greeted me with a smile and went into the auditorium. It wasn’t until after he left that I realized that I had been holding my breath.
After service, I was tempted to look for him and ask him some questions. I had to resist the urge by going down to the ladies and staying there for a while till I could think straight again.
I didn’t see him till I left church today. I just came home and prayed to God to remove these feelings that were growing against my will.
Well, Good night diary.
Monday 8th, February 2016
Guess what? Ken called me today! He called me very early this morning, as soon as I finished my prayers. He apologised for not calling throughout last week, explaining that it had been a busy week for him. He asked if we could hang out sometime this week (like a date.)
He said it so plainly that my heart began to beat really fast. I was scared he would hear the sound of my heart beat. I just hurriedly told him that I would check my schedule and that he could call me back later today and I will give him a response.
It was when I hung up that I began to regret not just agreeing on the date. I began to wonder if he would actually call me back.
I almost called him back to apologise, and tell him we could have it today, but that scripture, Proverbs 18:22, had stuck in my head. I remembered the decisions I made on Saturday. I decided not to struggle. I decided that if he was interested, he would call back.
I could hardly concentrate the whole day. I just kept on checking my phone. Any call that came in made my heart beat faster, all because I was expecting a call from him.
I gave up on the thought that he will call back at the close of work today.
I was however about to leave the office, when his call came in. I had so many things in my hand so I couldn’t pick up the phone. I was tempted to throw it all, including my laptop on the ground but I decided to walk back calmly to my table and drop the things in my hand first. Before I could achieve this, I had missed his call. I was almost feeling disappointed when his call came in again. I picked it up almost immediately. After exchanging pleasantries, he asked if I had checked my schedule.
I replied him, the same way I had practiced all day….. That if it is fine by him I will be free at 5pm on Wednesday. He seemed glad to hear that and pleaded that I let him choose the venue. I agreed to his request and he told me that he will tell me the venue tomorrow at church. I tried to contain my excitement. I came home and prayed about it and told God to take control.
Good night diary
Monday, 8th, February 2016
Today, I woke up with a lot of thoughts on my mind. I really like this lady and I need to man up and not lose her. I prayed for a while and took my phone and dialed her number not bothering for once to look at the time. Surprisingly she picked up the call on the second ring. I greeted her warmly and began to apologize for practically ignoring her throughout the week, claiming that I had been busy. Before I lost my courage I quickly asked for a hangout DATE sometime this week. She sounded confused and began to fumble with words. She hurriedly told me to call her later whilst she checked her schedule.
I began to wonder if she even liked me at all or she had just been extra nice to me in gratitude for what I did.
I couldn’t concentrate on work no matter how hard I tried. I cancelled all my meetings and decided to go into some series of prayers. I just prayed for God’s will to be done. I was so scared of being rejected that it took me hours before I could muster up courage to call her. She didn’t pick up when I called. I was beginning to believe that she was not interested in me and was avoiding me because of what I requested in the morning.
I however decided to give her the benefit of doubt and called her again. This time she picked up on the first ring. I almost sighed in relief. After the normal cliché greetings, I asked her about her schedule and she politely told me Wednesday evening would be convinient. I was so glad. I requested that she allowed me pick the venue and she gracefully agreed. Tonight I am going to sleep with a smile on my face and tomorrow I will plan out the best date ever.
Good night diary